I have a book coming out in May and I'm lowkey super stoked. And also a little terrified. This collection is all about vulnerability - taking out those fragile parts of my heart, the traumas that, to me, seem far too poisonous to be allowed to exist, and the delicate newness of stepping into myself. Actually myself. Not the versions I tried to be. Not the person they wanted me to be.
Just me.
It's very scary to pull out these pieces I have kept hidden for so very long. I don't know how it will go or how people will react.
But I'm not really interested in percolating on that. I'd much rather tell you fun facts about my new book, The Cry of The Ravven, which arrives this May.
It used to be called "Scars on Our Skin". It started off as a self published collection on Amazon in January of 2019. Between then and now, I developed my writing style and voice, adding to the collection and making it 1000x times better. Oh, I also started a publishing house too.
The title font is called 'Just Imagine'. This is very purposeful as my entire collection is about imagining a better life and then going for it. I've learned the importance of intention and I love the idea of secret messages.
Three is my lucky number. It has followed me everywhere I've gone. Sometimes it's weird in the way it shows up. For instance, my favorite cover for this book ended up being the third mockup. Many of the poems that are my favorites end up on pages with 3s, that are dividends of 3, or add up to 3. You're probably thinking, oh well that's a lot. Yes. yes it it. There will also be one more collection following this one to wrap up my story. It's called "The Lore of Ravven". The first book was about taking the first step towards freedom and confronting the darkness. The second book is about what comes after - the healing - and how difficult it can be to navigate. The third book is about art - how we take our trauma that we feel is too poisonous to be allowed to exist and turn it into something...beautiful.
Did you notice how many lines are in #3?
There is a poem called 'Lonely Ghosts With Heartbeats'. This is an actual lofi song and can be found here. I really liked the sound and as it happens, I was in a particularly pensive and moody...mood. So I wrote what I felt.
My husband is nicknamed 'Link'. He and I were both Zelda fans when we met and it was something we bonded over. As we were growing in our relationship, a new game came out featuring the hero, Link, and it was titled 'A Link Between Worlds'. That sums up how I feel about him - he is my hero, my everything, and the bravest and most wonderful person I have ever met. He is my link between worlds - my Link to a better world. And I'm not sorry if this is mushy and gross. I'm not.
And those are my fun facts for you about The Cry of The Ravven which I hope you will love as much as I do. Would you like to have some fun facts about me? I don't think I'm very interesting but Link and I have been married 10 years and about once a month we have a moment of:
"Ravven, I did not know this about you.............?????????"
"What? Oh yeah, so like this one time..."
"?????"
Oh, and one more thing. I've lost friends and family because I chose to heal myself and become myself. When I chose to embrace myself. It was super scary and uncomfortable and I have often felt very much alone.
But.
I learned that I have an extraordinary capacity for love and I adopted/was adopted by friends who became my new family. The bond we have is...everything. I would do anything for these special people. So. if you're out there blossoming into yourself and you're afraid of losing someone because of it - then, my love, they don't love you the way you deserve to be loved. And it might be scary for awhile, but you'll find the people who will love you the right way. There will always be pieces of ourselves that we don't share - and it's important to remember that not everyone deserves to know every piece of you. You will learn.
And if nothing else, I'll be your mom, your older sister, your aunt, your weird witchy neighbor who makes suspiciously good cookies. You deserve to be loved correctly, for all that you are. Don't you dare let anyone tell you any differently.
I'm a traumatized queer. Obviously I know everything.